I arrived in Lisbon at midnight with no place to stay. I was hungry, thirsty, and wandering around the huge statue that towered above the station’s entrance looking a little overwhelmed. Luckily, a stressed looking 21 yr old with a huge backpack seems to be some sort of international SOS service, as a huge guy in a singlet and thongs (another useful symbol- this one meaning aussie and/or bogan) strode up to me and enquired “are you looking for the g-spot?”. I thought to myself…